Love is the slowest form of suicide
by I.Feel.The.Chemical.Romance
Summary: California 2019. Fun Ghoul and Party Poison finally confess their love for each other but will the loss of Jet Star and Kobra Kid tear them apart? FRERARD/ FUN POISON
1. 1 the beginning of the end

**Foreword:**

A good story ultimately leads to good things. Love conquering evil, defying those that doubt you and bringing happiness to those involved. A good story never features the fear of loss as that fear is irrelevant. A good story bestows hope in every being. This is not one of those stories for it was love that led to his demise. Our leader. Our protector. Our hero. But most importantly- the love of my life. Ghosted in the desert on that fateful day, his shadow lives on but it's not the same. We are not one without his guidance. We are not whole without his wisdom and leadership. We are not the fabulous killjoys without my beloved Party Poison.

**Chapter 1: The beginning of the end:**

Battery City Desert is renowned for its hide-outs. Old factories, abandoned warehouses and deserted shops all act as safe-guards for the fleeing population of California. It is also renowned for its inhabitants; the notorious killjoys. I am one of them- a mere spot on the spectrum of run-aways and outlaws. My name? Fun Ghoul.

I fight the system and seek revenge with the only people who I hold dear; Jet Star, Kobra Kid and most important of them all, Party Poison-my leader and also the keeper of my heart. Sitting outside of the Diner I call home, I wait eagerly for my orders regarding our next 'drac raid', a sort of hit and run mission in the killjoy community. The way Party Poison commands us is intoxicating. The words spill from his mouth at a slant and his ruby red hair shines by the light of the fire burning away in front of us. He glances up at me with his sparkling brown eyes as if looking deep into my soul and for a moment it seems as if there is a hidden meaning behind it, one of intrigue and lust. I soon shrug the idea off though as he bows his head once more continuing with drawing up his orders. It's getting late and the wind starts to send chills down my body. I shiver and Party Poison looks concerned. He always looks out for me no matter what and that's why he's my hero. His will and desire to help others always spurs me on and his battle with his inner demons endlessly inspires me. You see, around the time of BLI's rise to power, Poison lost everything-his family, his home, even the trust he bestowed in people and instead he gained the reputation of an alcoholic-alcohol being his only escape from a world so corrupt.

Luckily he has been sober for years but the moment he touches alcohol again is the moment he loses everything. Apart from me. If I were to leave it would hurt me more than he will ever know. I am suddenly brought back to reality as the cold air seeps into my bones and as my eyes adjust I am greeted by the sight of the others getting up to leave. As my three companions head back towards the entrance of the Diner, Poison looks back and opens his mouth as if to say something. Something he's been longing to say for too long but never had the chance. Something I wish he would say to stop the pain inside me. Something like 'I love you'.

After a brief pause he obviously decides against it and shuts the door behind him and the sound rings through my ears. I am left alone with nothing but the stars in the sky and the sand to absorb the tears that slowly start to trickle down my face. The dwindling fire is soon extinguished by the ice cold wind and I am shrouded in darkness.


	2. 2 the world is big enough without you

Chapter 2- The world is big enough without you

It's the morning after my little breakdown and I feel physically and mentally drained. The scorching sun persists on burning my skin and the realisation Party Poison may never love me burns a hole in my heart, threatening to shatter it into a thousand tiny pieces. Shards- sharp enough to cut me to the core. Wincing slightly as my eyes come into contact with the blazing California sun, I hold myself up with my elbows yet the effort is futile as the desert sand shifts underneath me causing me to fall back down. Shit! I must have spent the night outside. A noise emanates from behind me but I feel too weak to even open my eyes and check it out. The sound of sand shifting under someone's feet inches closer to my head. It could be a Drac- in which case I would usually draw my ray gun and show that fucker who's boss before he could even say 'exterminate' but this time I merely prayed he would kill me quickly to ease me of this pain.

"What the fuck are you doing out here? Have you been out here all night?"

Eurgh. It was Kobra Kid-Poison's younger brother. He knows of my unconditional love for his sibling and does all he can to help me cling to what's left of my sanity. He's a good kid- never one to judge.

"Ghoul, answer me!"

I begrudgingly open my eyes and sit up. Kobra Kids got a tin of Power Pup in his hand which I assume is intended for me. Christ, I hate that stuff-no human should ever have to eat it but the desert isn't exactly famous for its vast food supply especially since those bastards came into power. I stare into the eyes of the younger sibling and take the tin out of his hand,

"thanks Kobra, I appreciate it"

He glances down at me, removes his trademark sun glasses and gives me a sympathetic look before walking back to the diner.

"Oh, yeah Ghoul-don't forget the Drac raid later, you ready for it?"

Oh shit, I forgot about that.

*IN THE DINER*

Ray gun? Check. Mask? Check. Keys? Check. Everyone's ready and waiting to start our next raid. Slowly but surely I walk towards the Trans-am parked behind the Diner. I open the door and take my place in the driver's seat, letting out a sigh. Of all days to go on a raid it would be today. I can barely concentrate on breathing let alone defending myself from masses of Draculoids. I pray that Poison won't sit next to me- I don't think I can be that close to him without being able to touch him, kiss him…

I snap out of it as the passenger door slams shut and Poison takes his seat next to me, withdrawing a piece of paper from his jacket pocket. I can see from here it's a map marked with the location of Drac safe house 04- our target. I sit patiently in my seat waiting for Jet Star and Kobra Kid to get in the car. I see this as a good opportunity to stare at Party Poison- to fully appreciate his superlative features. His long red hair, flawless skin, glistening brown eyes, slightly upturned nose and perfectly shaped lips give him the appearance of something unnaturally beautiful. A demi-god of sorts. My eyes travel south and I examine his jacket, stained with blood and sand and picture the pale, toned body which lies beneath. But before I can even begin to wonder what hides beneath his pants, he leans close to me and whispers in my ear, his minty breath sending shivers down my spine.

"Ghoul, you can drive now, the others are here"-He finishes his sentence with a childish giggle. Turning around sheepishly I notice the others are already in their seats and my cheeks burn red as Kobra Kid stifles a laugh. It was evidently, plainly obvious I was staring at Poison. Turning around and starting the ignition, I try and focus on the dusty path ahead. Sensing my nerves and apprehension, Poison delicately places his hand on my lap and smiles in an attempt to comfort me. Instead, images race through my mind and I have to grasp the steering wheel with all my might to prevent pouncing on him. I bite down hard on my lip and our journey continues on in silence until we finally reach the Drac safe house. I pull up a few metres away and with a nod of our heads, we signal the call to proceed. Jet Star is the first to stand and draw his ray gun and Poison soon follows his lead. I reach for my gun last, wary of the fact we could all die in the next 10 minutes. No one advances; we just wait hesitantly as if expecting a signal to carry on. Sick of waiting and feeling helpless, I run to the door of the safe house and kick it with all my might. It takes a few swift kicks but it finally caves in revealing 15 maybe 20 Dracs loitering the premises. I fire my gun numerous times at all directions, multi-coloured sparks invading the air. The others join me, firing lasers with precision and expertise until every single last Drac is lying on the floor motionless. After a quick inspection it seems no one is injured and Poison looks over at me, his breath shaky and his expression wild and blood thirsty.

"Good work guys, this should teach those fuckers at BLI a lesson".

He winks at me before running out of the building and the others swiftly follow. I tilt my head to the side, staring at Poison as he runs-his hair bounces around his shoulders and the delicate sway of his hips drives me crazy- I find it hard to control myself. However I try my best to ignore the dirty things in my head by sprinting back to the trans-am. The others are all ready to go back to base so I insert the keys in the ignition and set off back down the familiar path home.

As we drive past the bland scenery of the desert, I have a niggling feeling in the back of my mind we're being watched-followed even. Despite my apprehension I don't want to alarm the others so I keep my mouth shut until we're back at the diner. When we arrive I turn off the engine and everyone else exits the vehicle. By the time I muster up the strength to open the door and stand up, Poison is already settled and is starting a fire. Once it ignites and fills the air with a dusky orange glow, we all sit and reminisce our most recent mission, laughing at the misfortune of the enemy. Glancing up I see sand being thrown around in the distance by an unfamiliar object. Straining my eyes to get a better look I notice a van coming closer towards us with each passing second. A BLI van.

"Shit! Guys watch out!" 

The others turn their heads, shocked expressions on their faces as they hurriedly reach for their guns. We start to fire as the doors to the van swing open and Dracs pour out of it in a shooting frenzy, I was right- we were being followed. Fuck.

I start to feel light headed as bright sparks fly past my head and the sight of gas fumes rise from the ground. A capsule lies on the floor, expelling a toxic substance that makes me feel faint. I hear screams and shouts in the distance. A cry. A ringing in my ears, black spots before my eyes. My knees shake and then, I feel nothing.

*time lapse* 

The throbbing sensation in my head is what brings me back to consciousness. My eyes are sore and my mouth feels as dry as the sand beneath me. Lifting my hand to my head I feel the familiar warmth of blood trickling down the side of my face-what the fuck happened to us? I look over at a figure who I now recognise as Party Poison lying unconscious on the floor, dried blood smeared across his face. He seems to be breathing but just seeing him in that state causes a tear to form in my eye- my beautiful Party Poison looks like a helpless child. I quickly wipe away the tear with my now blood stained hand and crawl over to him. I stop when I realise something's not right. Something's missing.

Jet Star and Kobra Kid are nowhere to be seen…..


	3. 3without you is how i dissapear

Chapter 3- Without you is how I disappear

"MIKEEEEEEY!" 

Searching around frantically.

"RAAAAAY!"

I forget to use codenames as the fear kicks in. Gone. Their both gone. I hear crying in the distance, a hysterical Party Poison rocking back and forth like a child separated from its mother. Nothing around us but sand and sky. I go to call out again but the words catch in my throat and the tears pour down my now blood stained cheeks. Poisons face is one of anguish and fear and for a moment the brave team leader I know is replaced by Gerard- the innocent guy I knew before all this crap happened- it scared the shit out of me. Drowning in despair and with no other option, I jump in the trans-am and slam my foot on the accelerator leaving Poison behind in a cloud of dust. I have to find them…..

It's been a week since they went missing and me head is telling me to give up, to call off the chase. They're gone. Dead. Needless to say, I've not been coping well but its not me I'm worried about. Poison is a wreck-his once perfect face is now tired and has a fixed expression of pain. His blood shot eyes and tear stained cheeks make him look broken. Scary. He's lost his appetite as well, the weight just falling off him. There are scars visible all along his arm and I know only too well how they got there. His behaviour is understandable though- both his best friend and little brother are dead and yet I almost hate him for acting so selfishly- his actions are killing me as well. I know that's wrong and I should take it back but I cant because its true, I'm scared for him. Scared for me.

*Time Lapse*

Its night time and the sky is now pitch black apart from the few stars that glimmer above. I look out the diner window as Poison sits outside staring blankly ahead. He shivers but makes no attempt to come inside and get warm.

Walking into the storage room, I collect everything needed to start a fire. I pass Jet Star's room on my way back and bow my head as a sign of respect, the feeling of dismay washing over my body once more. Holding the wood and matches in my arms, I stride outside and settle them down, next to Party Poison. As I start setting up the fire, Poison lets out a little whimper and starts to cry. As soon as the fire is lit I crawl over to him and hold him in my arms. He rests his face against my chest and screams with all his might-getting rid of all the anger that's built up inside him over the week. I rub his back gently and whisper words of comfort in his ear, telling him how much I love him, how much I need him. And then I stop. Year's worth of feeling out in an instant for him to hear. I regret it straight away. Sensing me tense up, Party Poison looks up at me, his tear stained eyes staring into mine. I stare back unaware of how to react. I go to talk but his finger brushes my lip, silencing me. He leans in close and before I can question him, his lips are on mine, moving gently. He lets out a moan and starts to kiss harder as if his life fucking depends on it. His tongue slides across my bottom lip, begging for entrance and I oblige straight away. This is everything I imagined and more. I've never wanted and needed something more in my entire life. All too soon he pulls away and leans his head against mine, breathing out as I breathe in-filling each others lungs, keeping each other alive, this is heaven. Despite all the shit we've been through, I've never felt safer- I know where I belong now. Relaxing back into my arms, Poison lets out a sigh and closes his eyes. He cuddles up to me-the closest we've ever been and says something I've been waiting my whole life to hear.

"I love you Ghoul, I always have".

This statement is enough to send my emotions into overdrive and we sit all night under the stars, quietly sobbing for our fallen friends. Poison needs me and I swear to God I will do anything I can to help him. We love each other and we always will-from the earth to the morgue. 


	4. 4did you come to stare?

**Chapter 4- Did you come to stare or wash away the blood?**

Hey hey hey! one more chapter to go after this! :3 reviews appreciated (-.-)

**Poisons POV:**

I tried. I really did. I love Ghoul so much and him just being near me is therapeutic- better than any medicine but this I can't go on without, I need it. Alcohol is what I need to be me-the fearless leader. Without it I'm just 'Gerard' the shy, lonely guy that got judged for every single thing he ever did. I can't go back to that; I can't cope anymore without alcohol. It's the only thing that makes me forget the past, my best friend, my baby brother…..

Shit. Ok, I'm not going to cry anymore, I can see how much its hurting Fun Ghoul but if he really loves me he'll understand. You know? I can see myself marrying him someday. He's the only person that truly understands me and as I watch him sleep, my heart bursts with happiness just knowing he's mine. His steady breathing puts me at ease as I watch him during his slumberous state-he looks so peaceful and possibly even more gorgeous than normal. I kiss him gently on the forehead and brush the hair out of his eyes before standing up, taking a deep breath and walking as quietly as I can out of the room. Grabbing the car keys on the way out of the Diner, I look back and wonder how we got ourselves into this mess. I step outside in the freezing cold as the sand gets thrown about by the harsh night time wind and walk slowly towards the Trans-am. Clambering in and shutting the door gently, I insert the keys and set off. Battery City black market, here I come.

***Time Lapse***

Entering Battery City is daunting especially after all this time. The town I once knew and loved is now a bleak and desolate wasteland- its tall buildings cast shadows over you, making you feel inferior to everything there. I park the car and climb out, aware of the security cameras scattered around the place. I compose myself for a second and smooth my creased jacket. Walking carefully down the street I see my destination and make a swift turn- the black market has everything you could want and need. Opening the door to the well hidden shop, I step in, breathing in the intoxicating scent of alcohol. After looking around, I shut the door behind me and get on with business.

Walking back to the car, I carry my bag of goods as if they were my most prized possessions. Sliding delicately back into the Trans-am, I rest my bag on the seat next to me-three bottles of vodka to keep me company but the most important item of all is stashed deep within my pocket. The item that will make me happier than any amount of alcohol ever can. The item that will enable Fun Ghoul to be mine forever.


	5. 4 your memory will carry on

Chapter 5- your memory will carry on

Last chapter! Its been fun writing this- any other story suggestions? Oh yeah- reviews! Reviews! Reviews! :3

Fun Ghouls POV:

I knew it. I fucking knew it! He's drunk again. I can smell it on his breath. I thought he loved me but this just goes against everything he said. Everything he promised he wouldn't do. It's ruined. All the hard work we put in to make him feel better-wasted-just like him. It's like the first time he confessed his love for me. Tears streaming down his face, rocking back and forth, staring blankly at the bland desert scenery. I hold him tight, sensing his desperation and guilt and all at once the anger I felt is washed away as he clings to me and for the first time in years he sings-so quietly I can barely hear him but he does.

"If you stay I would even wait all night or until my heart explodes, how long until we find our way in the dark and out of harm? You can run away with me anytime you want"

Tears form in my eyes. He'd written a song for me. He hasn't sung since all this shit happened, I didn't realise how much I missed his breath taking voice. I held him closer, kissing the tears from his cheeks, his nose, and his lips. I felt immortal when I was with him, yet I was so wrong to think that immortality meant never dying. It meant so much more than that. He whispered endless amounts of apologies in my ear and for once I knew he truly meant it.

Poisons POV:

Those were my last words. I know it. Hugging Fun Ghoul tight, I can see something he can't-an approaching BLI van. Just like the time Jet Star and Kobra Kid were taken from me. It's funny how history repeats itself. Ghoul doesn't yet realise the van is edging closer-his heads buried into my chest like a little child scared for its safety or in this case, scared for my safety. He understands how I feel when no one else can. I smile. This is all I ever wanted-someone to love me, someone like Ghoul. The distant van stops and I squint to see the doors open, dracs pouring out just like before. Fun Ghoul finally hears it and snaps his head to face them, fear etched on his perfect face. I can't help but notice two of the dracs in particular, both look un-comfortable, detached from the rest but I don't question it. I just hear the familiar sound of a ray gun and pin Ghoul to the floor, shielding him from the enemy. And then time slows. I hear Ghoul scream underneath me and then more distant screams coming from…the dracs? It can't be. It sounded like…my brother. But before I have the chance to look again, everything goes black.

Fun Ghouls POV:

I scream as Poison falls on top of me, the bullet wound in his back bleeding out. I feel sick. I turn my head and throw up, gagging at the realisation my baby is dead. Two dracs are running towards me, I flinch and pull out my gun whilst screaming with anger but before I can pull the trigger, they take off their masks and I see Jet Star and Kobra Kid-alive after all. Tears stream down their faces as we reunite, hugging and sobbing in delight-we had found each other again. They explained how they were held hostage by BLI, how they managed to escape by disguising as dracs and following them on their raid, how they killed all the other dracs before they could harm me as well. They looked down at Party Poison, MY Party Poison and bowed their heads, crying for their fallen leader. He was gone now, in a better place away from the pain and the suffering. He was free now. I hugged him once more, kissing his now frozen features. I delicately close his eyes and kiss his eyelids, telling myself this is all just a dream and he'll wake up and be happy. As I hold him tight my hand slips into his pocket and I feel something small and square. I pull it out to see a little black box. Realisation hits as I see what it holds- a silver ring. The most beautiful ring I've ever seen. A sign of commitment. Twisting it round in my hand I notice the word 'forever' engraved on the inside and I smile. I know we'll be together forever in one way or another because although he's dead and gone believe me, his memory will carry on. I slip the ring on my finger, it's a perfect fit. Kissing Poison one last time, I stand up and look at the others. We're gonna avenge his death. We're gonna show those fuckers who's boss. My gun fires seven shades of shit so what's your favourite colour punk? THIS is just the start.

The End ^.^


End file.
